back and forth

As I write, the girl is in another room singing to herself.

So, when I got home last night, the girl was back from her field trip, but was rude to me, name calling, complaining about English, and saying she didn't want to go to Canada. Knowing that she's freaky after a new experience, I usually let it roll off, but yesterday, I was really tired and stressed and although I didn't respond to her directly, made angry faces at my husband. Usually, we have family movie night on Friday night, but she wanted to watch children's anime, so the boy and I watched Christmas Story on my mini-DVD player in another room. Afterwards, I thought it was better for all of to end the evening together, so the boy and I went into the same room as the girl and did our own things -- she watched her anime, the boy watched different stuff on the iPad and I read a book.

I went to bed first, because I was exhausted -- I thought the kids would stay up longer, but to my surprise they both went to bed, too. The girl came to my room to confirm that she wouldn't be sleeping with me, because it's Dad's night to, but I said we could change nights if she really wanted to. "The boy will complain if I do," she said (which is true), so she went to her own bed. I sent her a message wishing her a goodnight. We exchanged emojis for a bit and then she called me and we wished each other goodnight in warm voices.

This morning, she woke up in a good mood, ate breakfast cheerfully, and since she has no sports today and I have the morning free, I offered to take her to shopping because some of her clothes are decidedly old and falling to pieces or have dirt in them that will never be removed, no matter how much we wash them. At first she declined, but when I offered to buy her a manga she agreed to it, so we'll head out in about an hour.

The boy was in a very bad mood, however. It's raining, so usually a message will come from the family driving him to soccer practice saying that the practice is cancelled, but no message came. He was annoyed because the messages are generally relayed through the husband who has to work today and couldn't get away to confirm. I told the boy to simply put on his soccer clothes and if his ride didn't come at the pick up time, he could change back into regular clothes, but he preferred to pitch a fit, blame my husband for not being here, and yell at me for nagging. I said, "It's up to you" and left the room. I heard him go up to his room and change. No one showed up at the appointed time, so he's changed back into his regular clothes and will go out to play. His mood is decidedly better.

As I've written before, I'm reacting more strongly than usual and need help from meds for the time being. When I'm calm, I think about what goes on and why I react so strongly to the kids sometimes. For them, it's the same old nonsense and their moods change on a dime. The problem for parents (well for me, anyway), I think, is that we remember and hold on to everything. Lately, I find myself anticipating the potential bad moods of the girl, instead of just expecting normality and reacting when I need to react. Gotta learn how to do something about that!

xo
M