Thursday, August 25, 2016

jetlagged and happy to be home

Hello all,

So, no anti-anxiety meds needed since we came back. Everyone is happy to be home. My girl made soup for yesterday's breakfast and was happy to be praised for the delicious taste. Today, she made everyone a full breakfast, loading our plates with fried eggs and salad. Rice or bread was left up to the individual. Today's soup was also delicious.

Her sweet, generous nature is now beginning to reveal itself more and more every day. I think the trip to Canada did her good. She got lots of time to herself, but also had lots of attention, love, and fun. She met many different people and went to new places. She ate new things, although she wasn't crazy about many of them. She got closer to her brother because he was the only one near her age who spoke Japanese. She got closer to me and we had lots of fun in the pool at my aunt's place -- the same place I started bonding with my boy 7 years ago during his first visit to Canada.

I think I was more stressed out during the trip than anyone. I was constantly worrying if everyone was happy, although I had no need to worry. Everyone was happy. And now I am, too. Happy to back in my lovely house, even though it's frickin' humid as hades here.

Because the main purpose of this trip was to introduce my girl to the family, we didn't see as many friends as usual, but I cherished the great talks I had with the friends I did see. I got a lot of good parenting hints and assurances that we are doing fine and the kids seem to be happy. 

One thing that I think I might change for future trips is the living arrangements. We have been staying with the same friends for years, and I think we should consider imposing ourselves on others in the future. Our friends are great and have never made us feel less than welcome, but I think we have relied on their generosity for too long. I'm even thinking that we should consider putting money away every month so that we can stay in an apartment hotel and be more independent. Perhaps I'm becoming a little bit Japanese in my thinking and feeling, but I felt that we were somewhat of a burden to our friends and we have no way to repay them in kind until they come to Japan, which is unlikely. In an apartment hotel, we could buy and cook our own food and not wonder constantly (like I did) if the small amount of money I gave to my friends (that they would let me give them) covered even a fraction of the food we ate, or the energy and water we used.

Anyway, I'm feeling far and away better than I did before going home. I'm still jetlagged as heck, but hope that will be over by the weekend. We've been living together for a full 5 months and I think we've turned a corner.

Grateful to all of you who have been on this journey with us! Thanks for reading today's ramblings.



  1. I always enjoy reading your blog, Melodie. You're doing a great job.
    I've also worried about imposing when I return to Canada, and have been using AirbNb for the past couple of years. It's an amazing and economical service, and I recommend it highly. I've never been disappointed, and I have a real sense of autonomy when I'm home now, rather than always worrying if I am imposing. Become a member, and peruse all the options available. I think you'll love it! :) Sarah in Nagoya

  2. Thanks! I hope someday I'll learn to stop beating myself up daily for not being a perfect parent! My husband reminds me that kids have to follow their own paths - today, my girl has no one to play with, but was offered a chance to go to a soccer practice where playmates would be, but declined. I thought I should offer but that conflicted with my very great need for me time. My compromise was to go to sbucks for 1.5 hours and read, then come home and continue reading in another part of the house in case she asks me to do something - I feel since it's still early days, I should at least be in the house when I can.

    Your idea is great - I hope I can find someone with accommodation for four that's reasonable!

    How is your project going? I look forward to reading it!