Well, we're two weeks in and the girl is bringing full-on attitude to both of us, although she shows it in different ways. She likes to kick and punch the husband -- she actually likes him a lot, but still holds in a lot of aggression and needs to release it. With me, she avoids eye contact or doesn't answer questions. Last night when she came to bed, she was sitting hunched over on her knees with her arms around her head. I tried to rub her back, but she growled at me. I asked what was wrong, and she said, "I'm not telling you." I answered, "You're not telling me. Okay. Well, if you want to tell me, I'll listen" and left it at that.
This morning, she was a little softer. I realized that it's better just to do than say with her, so I will hold back my compunction to talk a lot and just quietly get on with things. I was cheerful as usual to show her that I'm not mad at her for her behaviour. She doesn't like to be pestered, so instead of asking her again and again if she had taken her morning meds, I asked her only once then simply put a glass of water on the table for her to take them with. I have to remember that this is a stage that she is going through and it's not personal.
It was rough with the boy at first -- for the first 6 months, he wouldn't let me do anything for him. I have to keep that in mind -- now he and I have a pretty nice relationship, and I must and will hope that the girl will eventually come around and let me give her the love and affection she needs.